kinda nervous, ya know?

I will admit that being alone most of the time is actually fairly consistently...lonely. Some days I relish in my solitude. It can be delightful and comforting to just be by yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Be silent. There is comfort in that.
But some nights a little darkness hovers over me. I just feel a few shades darker and I crave that special connection again. Reluctant as I am to admit, there is a romance inside of me that is as big as the moon. I love to share and touch and become merged with someone. I think it is so beautiful and valuable. I miss the steady comfort of another person's legs pressed up against my legs. Even sharing silence with someone you are so close to..is special.
Right now the love I have in my life is just a different version of the same thing. I don't have romance but I do have genuine, deep, beautiful connections with so many people. Sweet innocent connections with regular acquaintances. And soul cradling connections with the best friends I could ever dream up. The kindest family. The gentle beings who know me fully and love me still. Who gently encourage and enlighten me. I find people to be so valuable in the many forms they come in. I am alone but I am so fortunate. So uplifted and surrounded by love.
And I will continue to feel isolated, off and on as my perspective toys with me. But I will never forget that there is always love.

Close your fuckin' eyes. Eat a fuckin' peach.

I keep thinking that if I peel myself apart

offer up everything I've got

that someone will sit with me

in that special little place

in my rising Pisces Land~

Laying on our backs on the belly of the champagne clouds

Eating drippy peaches with our ripe fingertips

Licking the flecks of dew from

each other's chins..

I keep thinking I can feel the vibration

so close, so close

in my belly and in my toes

But there is a haze that covers it all.

The clouds are simply wisps here

Like the product of an impatient artist and his brush.

And my heart is so simple now, but still

It is soft

too soft now

Bruised from too many fingers poking at it, checking for tenderness

Bruised from too many drops from too high up

Bruised by choice.

If I could just stay in the clouds or on the ground...I'd be content? Maybe.

But I am both here and there

and I guess I take secret delight in these sort of things.

I am tired though.

So very tired.

A tired that my eyes refuse to bow to.

A hunger that refuses to be fed, like a stubborn child twisting its neck.

Close your fuckin' eyes. Eat a fuckin' peach.  

Taken by the David

Hallows ween '14

Arizona lips

Her lips were painted in a muddy orange
they moved wildly-like a movie in fast forward.
Sedimentary pigments for such a luster can be found in the grand canyon..
1. Arizona lips
2. New Orleans hips
-She swings from side to side
gliding on the top soil and loose gravel
and after she shakes her mane
she turns her head til her jaw points a triangle to the night sky
she winks at the moon
both because she likes to flirt and because they know something special
an inside joke
both grand and subtle.
like most things in the patterned universe she is a paradox
extravagant and achingly simple.
the good things in life are as follows (but not limited to) :
honey bees, outerspace and a fine muddy lipstick.

A big ol smooch she throws to the universe
-caught by the wind, it dances through the sweaty dessert to the sound of the dire straits
til who-knows-when
maybe forever.

a day in the life

Butterscotch sun
lodged between my cheek and gums
clouds form from between my parted lips
puffing and huffing
but the house plants its feet firmly on the ground

there are stained glass ceilings painted in my mind
they stay in one place
while i dance around them
as if i were the earth
spinning on its axis

i count how many times my heart swells
120? -about as often as it beats
On full days I eat the moon
and bathe in the sun
til i am sticky and bloated
nonsense nonsense nonsense
non-sense
Non
sense
?
I have a million things to say
But i am still ripening.

water sign

Grand variety of Nothing

sweet