magic

There are few things that never die,

few things that stand true

even when everything else seems to crumble

even when facades fade away...

There is a tightly packed ball of glass in my belly

and a bed of nails resting beneath my sternum

every time I draw a breath in

It rattles and rolls and slices my insides

I'm finding that the feeling of being replaced

and of not being quite right

even when you try your hardest

is a pain that likes to linger...

There are certain folks in this world who find that they cannot express themselves

they have this truth burning inside of their own bellies

they have a vision but not the right words

There is nothing more frustrating than trying to share yourself with someone

only to find out that they don't speak your language

Jimi Hendrix was born with a hunger

he was born with a vision

when he got on that stage\he didn't just play his guitar

He shot static and light out of his fingertips

out of his entire body

He ate the music and spit it out into the audience and ate it again

He watched his fingers make the sounds that allowed him to show people his

heart...

allowed him to turn his body inside out

to break free from the cage we all live in from time to time.

when he was on stage I think that ball of glass in his stomach

was sanded down into tiny particles

and flowed out of him,

out of his soul

in bursts of heavy, aching frequencies.

And then you learn that off stage he was painfully shy.

I saw this drummer at a bar I like

I love to watch the musicians play as I dance

sometimes you'll catch them grinning at each other,

smiling about an inside joke, or some mutual feeling,

smiling down at their instrument,

watching the dancers move to the sounds they make...

my favorite is when the individual is so consumed with their instrument

you find that they cannot be separated or distinguished from one another

The drummer became his drum

he ate his music and spit it out onto the tips of his drumsticks

I love that.

To get so lost, even for just a moment

It is the most beautiful meditation.

For now I will dance

until I become those notes

I will be the ultimate groupie

to music as a whole.

I will allow the pain I feel now

to flow through me until it pushes out into the notes that dance around me,

until it mixes with the pain of others

until I cannot distinguish their pain from my own.

I will listen and watch and keep moving

until I feel better, until everyone feels better

until the world looks less hazy,

when there is less static in the air

until I can honestly feel the beauty of life again.

I will do my part,

and music will do its part

as it always does.